


Back to the Great Beyond

by Wolfie_Dragon



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Adventure, Angst, F/M, Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 19:20:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9339464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfie_Dragon/pseuds/Wolfie_Dragon
Summary: One-shot. Hiccup and Astrid always wanted to go back to Dragon's Edge and have another adventure. But after Hiccup became chief there was never any time, and they never went back into the Great Beyond. Now it's too late, but a gift from beyond the grave may show Astrid there are more ways to have an adventure than she thought.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story was loosely inspired by Pixar's Up, specifically an absolutely beautiful scene featuring a photo album. I guess it contains slight spoilers for Up, so if you were planning on seeing that movie soon, do that first. If you weren't planning on that, see it anyway. It's one of the most touching movies I've ever seen.

The house was empty when Astrid entered it. She sighed deeply, feeling exhausted after the long walk up the hill from the docks, before going upstairs. It was strange that there was no one to come home to, and no one to wait up for.

Toothless was already there, sniffing the bed. He could probably smell Hiccup on the bed, even though they changed the sheets after…

After he died in them.

Toothless walked towards his stone slab to sleep, but Astrid knew he wasn't okay. Toothless kept searching for Hiccup. He had even tried to swim after the funeral ship today. He had to be restrained until they could light it on fire, at which point Toothless just… broke. Astrid thought that, in a way, the dragon died with Hiccup. Toothless was still there, and he still moved, but there was no life in him anymore.

It was like he didn't know how to live without Hiccup.

Astrid took off the ceremonial armor she was wearing, and untied her braid. Untying her hair took a long time, since it had been so long since she had done it herself. She smiled when she realized that the last time she had untied the braid herself was when her hair was still yellow, instead of the shining white it was now. Hiccup had done it every night since they were married. Just like she took off his prosthetic leg every night. And that was a long time. Astrid guessed it must have been around forty years, but she didn't know the exact number.

At some point she just lost count. It always seemed like it didn't matter, that they would always have more time together. Hiccup would know how long they had been married. He was good with numbers. She turned around to ask him, before remembering she couldn't.

As she crawled into the bed she felt more exhausted than she had in years. But sleep wouldn't come. The bed didn't feel right without Hiccup beside her. There should be a warm body with mismatched legs next to her. Hiccup should be pulling on the sheets, hogging them like he always did. In the forty years they'd been together, there had only been a few nights they hadn't slept in the same bed. Usually when one of them was ill or wounded, or after Astrid gave birth. But the other would always be in the same room, sleeping in a chair next to the bed.

It was almost incomprehensible that that would never happen again. Suddenly she jumped up. She couldn't do this. She couldn't sleep in this bed. It was the bed Hiccup died on. She could almost smell the scent of death in the air, and she couldn't stand to be in the room for another moment. She ran down the stairs, trying not to cry. She had cried enough.

When her breathing had calmed a bit, she lit the fire, hoping it would chase the cold away, and sat down in her chair. She tried not to look at Hiccup's empty chair next to hers. It was wrong. When she sat in her chair, Hiccup should be sitting in his, designing some new dragon stables or using the little wheels under the chair to roll it between the table and his workbench without having to stand up.

Astrid averted her eyes from the empty chair with the little wheels that were so… Hiccup, and something on the table caught her eye. She reached out to pull it towards her.

She nearly burst into tears again when she recognized the sketchbook. Hiccup called it his 'adventure book'. He had taken it with him to Dragon's Edge when they were young, and drew scenes of their lives there. He took notes, studied dragons, and drew maps, but he did that in other books. This one was for his own drawings. She hadn't seen it in many years, but Hiccup had it with him just before he died.

He had another coughing fit, worse than the ones before, and the healers had gone in, leaving her to wait outside. When they came out again, their faces were grim. Hiccup wouldn't make it through the night. Astrid had gone inside, and Hiccup had lain there with a pale face, and she couldn't believe he would die in a few hours. They hadn't said much. Final goodbyes, thank you's, and a few tears. Neither really knew what to say. Finally Hiccup had given her the sketchbook, saying he wanted her to remember what was inside.

She hadn't opened it then, instead staying with him until he stopped breathing, and then she had put it on the table when they came to take away the body.

Sighing, she opened the book to the first page. Hiccup had drawn the dragon riders as they looked when they left Berk to go into the Great Beyond, as they had called it. She remembered it like it was yesterday. They had all been so eager to go into the wild, and have adventures. They all looked so happy, and young. She smiled when she thought about how Hiccup and her hadn't been together then. They were just too young and stupid to realize what should have been obvious.

She flipped through more pages, laughing when she recognized their base design plans, stuck in the sketchbook with Night Fury saliva. She snickered at the twins' boar pit, Snotlout's 'S'-shaped house, and her own fortress. As she flipped more pages, she smiled at more sketches and drawings of them at the Edge. Hiccup had always drawn himself looking so… cheerful, and she could feel the happiness radiating from every page. Then she reached the final page.

On the left page, there was a beautiful painting of the six of them in front of the clubhouse. Hiccup had used a mirror to sketch an outline, and he finished it later with paint. Hiccup and her were holding hands, they had just admitted their feelings to each other. Astrid looked in wonder at their expressions. The young Hiccup looked so content, so happy, like he was sure this wonderful life would never end.

She remembered that day. It was the day they returned to Berk. Stoick had called them back, saying they were needed home for now, and that Hiccup needed to learn how to be a chief. Hiccup had been sad that they had to leave the Edge, but he had been so sure they would return there soon.

She couldn't stop her tears when she looked at the right page. There was no drawing there. There were only big words, scrawled in Hiccup's blocky handwriting.

_Drawings from the next adventure_

Hiccup had never doubted that would return to the Edge. That they would continue to have adventures, to discover new lands. But they never got the chance. Not long after they had returned, Drago attacked, and suddenly Hiccup was chief. A month later they were married. In just a month, their lives had changed completely. Hiccup couldn't vanish for a week to explore some far-off island anymore. He had to stay on Berk.

Hiccup and her never returned to Dragon's Edge. The remaining pages of the 'adventure book' had remained empty, because there hadn't been another adventure.

It's not that they didn't want to go. But suddenly they had responsibilities. They had to rebuild Berk after Drago's attack. They had to make sure there was enough food. Hiccup had to settle disputes and listen to complaints. Then the children came, and they had to take care of them as well. There was always something else to do, something else to build, something else to improve. Hiccup longed to return to Dragon's Edge, even for only a day. It was a permanent colony now, lead by Snotlout. He had wanted his own place to rule after Hiccup became chief.

Astrid shook her head at the irony. Snotlout would probably have given anything to be chief of Berk. And Hiccup wanted nothing more than to live in the Great Beyond. But they couldn't swap places, because of stupid lineage and tradition.

They wanted to visit the Edge, but something always came up. An argument between two villagers that threatened to grow into a feud. A visiting chief of an allied tribe. One of the children falling ill. But even when they became older, when their children grew up and had children of their own, there was never any time. Now their grandchildren had grown up, and would probably have children of their own soon.

A couple of years ago, a rumor arrived on Berk that a man named Leif Erikson had discovered vast new lands far to the west. Hiccup had wanted nothing more than to fly out and find this mythical new world, certain he could do it better on dragonback than Leif Erikson could with his ships. But even then, there had never been any time. They had always said: "Later," "After the harvest," "After the winter is over," "Next year will be calmer, and then we can go."

And now…

Now it was too late.

Astrid felt guilty, as she remembered how she used to believe that. She had kept thinking there would be more time. She should have done something. Convinced someone to act as chief for a few months so she and Hiccup could go out. But she hadn't, and now Hiccup would never have his adventure.

She couldn't look at the page anymore. _Drawings from the next adventure_. It would never be. With shaking hands, Astrid moved to close the book, but before it closed fully the page bent a little, and she could see a hint of charcoal on the next page.

The page that was supposed to be empty.

Frowning, she opened the book again and turned to the new page, and gasped. It was another of Hiccup's drawings, but one she had never seen.

It was their wedding. She recognized Hiccup in his ceremonial armor, her younger self in a dress she remembered hating. They were kissing as Gothi pronounced them married.

Astrid didn't understand it. Why would Hiccup have drawn this? Why did he do it in his adventure book? These pages were supposed to be for his next big adventure.

She turned another page, and saw more drawings. There was a drawing of them rebuilding the Haddock house. Another of her and Hiccup, flying through the air on their dragons. One of Astrid hugging Valka. Astrid remembered that day. It was the day she found out she was pregnant for the first time. Hiccup had been so happy. They had both been incredibly happy.

She turned another page, and couldn't stop the tears from flowing when she saw the next picture. It was them, holding a little bundle in their arms. Their firstborn son, Haakon. Hiccup had cried so much that day, because he had been so happy. Astrid suddenly wondered how Hiccup had drawn himself in these pictures, since he couldn't have seen himself, but she supposed they weren't literal images of how those moments really happened. They were the moments as he remembered them.

As he wanted her to remember them.

She flipped through the book, finding more and more pictures. Their other children being born. Stormfly and her attacking pirates. Fishlegs and Ruffnut marrying. Snotlout leaving for Dragon's Edge with a small fleet of colonists. A young Astrid training new dragon riders. Hiccup hopping around on his peg leg after he had broken his right leg. The children unwrapping Snoggletog presents. Hiccup and Gobber making something in the forge. She cried more when she saw the drawing of a burning funeral boat carrying a small baby, remembering little Magnus who had died way too young from a mysterious illness.

After that were more moments from their lives, both happy and sad. Sweet little Ingrid riding her Nadder, Airwalker, for the first time. Hiccup and Haakon posing for Bucket to paint a shield. Valka's funeral. Haakon's coming of age. Astrid embracing her first grandchild. Hiccup reluctantly leading an army during the Berserker War. Toothless and Hiccup hugging and playing. Astrid and Hiccup kissing. She smiled as she could see them become older as she got further through the book. Hiccup's hair became gray, and hers became white. In the last pages they were playing, and later talking, with their grandchildren, who also became older and bigger through the years.

Astrid smiled when she turned the last page and saw a beautiful painting of her and Hiccup sitting together in the Great Hall, surrounded by their friends, family and dragons. She suddenly thought about how Hiccup had drawn himself in nearly every drawing. He nearly always had a happy expression, except in the sad pictures of funerals and deaths, were he usually depicted himself hugging her.

Had he really been that happy being stuck in Berk?

She was about to close the book when she noticed more of Hiccup's handwriting underneath the painting. Her heart skipped a beat as she read the message.

_Thanks for the adventure – Now go have a new one!  
Love, Hiccup._

She slammed the book shut and put it back on the table before burying her head in her hands. She didn't know how long she sat there, crying until her eyes hurt, but it must have been hours.

"Oh Hiccup. Even now you manage to surprise me," she whispered when her tears finally stopped. Her mind was racing with questions. Had he meant it? Had he really considered their life together his great adventure? Had he really been as happy as he looked in those drawings?

She mentally slapped herself for doubting it. Hiccup never lied to her. And now that she thought about it, he looked as happy in her memories of these events as he did in these drawings.

Maybe she hadn't failed in giving him an adventure.

Astrid pondered the other part of his last message. Have a new adventure? How was she supposed to do that?

How could she have one without Hiccup? What was she supposed to do without him? She had been married with him for most of her life, what could she do now?

Astrid grabbed the adventure book and flapped through the pages again while she thought about her life in the village. Now that she thought about it, it didn't feel like she had much of a purpose anymore. The children had long since grown up, and were about to have grandchildren of their own. They didn't need her guidance. She didn't have the strength to be a warrior anymore, she had only barely managed to draw her bow during Hiccup's funeral. The evenings spent talking and playing games with friends had become sparse as those friends started to die, one by one.

Who did she really have left in Berk? Snotlout still lead Dragon's Edge, but he was far away. They hadn't seen him in nearly a decade. Fishlegs had passed away peacefully a few years ago, leaving the Dragon Academy to his daughter. Tuffnut died in a flight accident nearly ten years ago, and Ruffnut stopped eating and sleeping after that, following her brother a month later. The older generation that she had always looked up to, Gobber, Stoick, Valka, Mulch, Johann, they had all died decades ago.

Even Stormfly was gone. The Nadder was shot through the heart during the Berserker War, which caused Hiccup to ban dragons from combat. It hadn't healed her broken heart, and she hadn't been able to bond with another dragon since. She would only ride on Toothless, with Hiccup next to her.

Astrid supposed she didn't have much left to help Berk with, now that she couldn't assist Hiccup anymore. Haakon would do fine on his own, he inherited his father's brains, and he had married a sharp and creative girl. He would probably move into their house now, since it was traditionally the chief's house, and Astrid doubted he would want his depressed old mother around all day. He had his own family to deal with now. Her generation was dying out, and it was time they passed the torch to the next one.

She thought about the rumors of Leif Erikson's mythical Vinland, and how eager Hiccup was to find it. With creaking bones she stood up and grabbed the adventure book from the table as an idea grew in her mind. She climbed the stairs into the bedroom, and walked over to the stone slab. Toothless lay still, but she knew he wasn't sleeping. The dragon hadn't slept since Hiccup died.

"Toothless? Toothless, wake up! You should see this!" she told the Night Fury, and after a minute of prodding the dragon reluctantly opened his eyes. Astrid smiled when she saw a little life return to Toothless' green eyes when he noticed the drawings. He warbled as she flipped through the book, showing him more pictures of Hiccup. At first the dragon seemed confused, but slowly his expression changed to happy.

Astrid flipped to the last page.

"Toothless! Hiccup left a message, and I don't think it was just for me. I think it was for you as well! Do you want to hear it?" she asked, and she laughed when the dragon made an excited growl.

"He says: 'Thanks for the adventure, now go have a new one!' Do you know what that means, Toothless?" she asked, and the dragon looked a bit confused again.

"He wants us to go on a last adventure! Would you like that, Toothless? Another long trip, like we used to do on Dragon's Edge? Just you and me? For Hiccup?" she asked, knowing Toothless would understand her. The dragon was smarter than most Vikings.

The Night Fury seemed hesitant, but when she showed him the final painting again, he finally smiled his toothless grin before licking her. Astrid laughed as she scratched him, happy to see the old lively Toothless again.

"Okay, bud. We have a lot to do to prepare, so let's get started right away!" she said before grabbing a large bag to store food and other supplies in. Toothless jumped out of the open window, reappearing a few minutes later with his old riding gear, which was stored in the shed behind the house. He sat very still as she put the saddle and fin on him, replacing the pedal with one for normal feet.

An hour later she had packed everything, and there was just one last thing she had to do. She grabbed a sheet of paper and Hiccup's favorite quill, and began to write her farewell letter. She explained what Hiccup had given her, where she was going, and why. She left messages for all the children, the grandchildren, and other Vikings she knew well. When she was done, she put the letter on the table, knowing Haakon would find it tomorrow.

She tied all her bags to Toothless, feeling younger and stronger than she had in years. Finally she took the adventure book and put it in the strongest bag, which she carried around her shoulder, close to her heart.

"Ready to go, Toothless?" she asked, getting a happy warble in reply. They walked outside, and Astrid took one last look at the village she had helped lead for the past four decades. It had grown stronger, bigger, and happier during that time, and she was sure Haakon would continue to make it better.

But she probably wouldn't be there to see it. Maybe she would return one day, if she found what she was looking for. But somehow she knew she wouldn't come back.

She climbed into Toothless' saddle and put the fin in the right position. As Toothless launched into the sky she remarked on how _easy_ it was to just leave under cover of darkness. But she dismissed that thought. It wasn't important. All that mattered now was flying. They would fly west, further west than anyone had ever flown. They would fly until they found Erikson's mythical continent, and even then they would fly further, until they reached the end of the mortal world and entered the realms of gods and giants.

They would fly as long as there was another adventure out there. And even though Hiccup wasn't riding on Toothless now, Astrid knew he was with them. He was in the riding gear he had invented. He was in the drawings in the adventure book. And he was in hers and Toothless' hearts.

And that was all Astrid needed as they flew into the Great Beyond once again.


End file.
